Residing in Śrī Keśavajī Gauḍīya Maṭha

My gurudeva and I were present on the day Abhaya Caraṇāravinda Prabhu came again to the Keśavaji Gauḍīya Māṭha in 1955. We embraced him and he embraced us. Before coming, he had been successful with his pharmaceutical business in Allahābāda, called Prayāga Pharmacy, and it was very famous.

Many important personalities of India, including the prime Minister family, were customers in his shop. Later on, however, he had to sell it. Then he traveled to all the important cities of North India, such as Delhi, Kānpura, Lucknow, Āgrā, Jhansi, Mathurā, and other towns to sell the medicines he had made from his own formulas. Kuñja-bihārī Prabhu, a senior disciple in the māṭha, was especially devoted to him during this time. He helped tocarry his bags and also to bring him prasādam while he worked.

After a while this business also came to an end, and Abhaya Caraṇāravinda Prabhu gave up his household life and all its possessions in Calcutta. He again came to Mathurā, this time without belongings. He brought a medical formula for treating ringworm, which he distributed to the shopkeepers, store-to-store, but sales were not good. He was living in a room he had rented by the Yamunā, in Hooli Wali Gully near Bengalighāta. He had been there three or four days when I went to see him. I told him, “Prabhu, why are you staying here?” He was very humble and didn’t want to impose himself upon us, so I forcibly took his luggage and told him, “I will not let you go anywhere else. We are here. We are your sons. You are our gurudeva’s Godbrother and are very dear to us. We want to care for you. I will not allow you to stay here, separate from us.” I brought the brahmacārīs, Kuñja-bihārī Prabhu, Śeṣaśāyī Prabhu and some mothers, and we took what few utensils he had and brought him to live in our māṭha.

I requested him, “Please stay here with us, preaching Bhagavad-gītā, writing and so on. I know that no one is assisting you now. I want to personally serve you. Please live here forever; we never want you to leave.” He became so glad.

I gave him a room adjacent to mine. His room was there (pointing to the room one door from the kitchen), and my room was here. There were only two rooms then, his and mine. At that time there was no dome of the mandīra in our Keśavajī Gauḍīya Māṭha.

We had very little facility to offer him, because nothing was there in our māṭha. There was just one bathroom, but still we were very easily able to live peacefully and accomplish everything we had to accomplish. At that time he also had nothing to show to others: “This is mine.” He had only his body and ātmā–no paisā at all. He only had some copies of his Back to Godhead magazine, his Gītā, and three or four volumes of a Bengali Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. He had no bedding, and no extra boxes or personal belongings.

We gave him one small room and many large books. Śrīpāda Nṛsiṃha Mahārāja (one of his godbrothers) and I donated some Sanskrit and Bengali books to him. There he begaṇa to write many English translations and articles. Day and night he would stay in his room and do this, and he also chanted a great deal of harināma and very beautifully sang bhajanas. We did not know when he ever took rest. He slept only a short time in the morning, because all during the night he was awake, and throughout the day also. He became so pleased with this arrangement of staying with us, and our Guru Mahārāja also became pleased when he was informed of this.

I would sometimes joke with him, saying, “Oh, you may try to be responsible for your children and your wife, but they are rejecting you.” One of his sons was not very favorable, and another was somewhat favorable but not wanting to serve him. So I would say, “Prabhu, why not take more service from all of us? You should not go back there. I will beg from door to door and arrange to get you rice and any other items.”

When Prabhu first came to Mathurā to stay with us, he had an ailment which he humbly and silently tolerated. Because he was expert in medicines, he always used Ayurvedic or homeopathic remedies when necessary and avoided allopathic treatment. I was fortunate that he confided in me, saying, “I do not have faith in any doctors. If they demand to operate, I may die.” I told him that he could not die; he had too much important sevā to do. He agreed and said that he was very determined to fulfill his gurudeva’s order to preach all over the world. I said that I knew of a bona fide doctor here in Mathurā who had cured others. He let me take him there, and I stayed by his side during the entire operation. I hesitate to mention these details, because it may sound as if I was helping him. Actually, I know he was bestowing his mercy to allow me to perform intimate service.

We would often visit each other’s rooms, and sometimes we would joke together about various topics. He was very fond of joking, and when he would laugh it was very sweet. He joked in an especially delightful way, with a slightly playful smile. We also had many philosophical discussions together, speaking about such topics as Prahlāda-caritra and Tenth Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. We read many scriptures together, and he would deeply discuss the matters he wrote about in the Gauḍīya Patrikā. Sometimes he would have talks with one, two, three or five disciples of my gurudeva in my room. There were also some big officers and other important gentlemen who came to hear him speak, and they would say, “Oh, Abhaya Caraṇa Bābu is such a learned and advanced person!” Everybody would glorify him. Prabhu was very enthusiastic about cooking, and he often declared that all Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas should be expert in cooking for Kṛṣṇa.

During the many months he stayed at Keśavajī Gauḍīya Māṭha, the two of us would perform sandhyā-ārati together each evening. He would always play the mṛdaṅga very expertly, and I would play the kartālas and sing. He liked my singing very much and always requested me to lead the kīrtana. Someone asked me, “Why doesn’t Prabhu also sing? He has a beautiful voice as well.” I replied, “Yes, surely he does, but there are times he doesn’t sing because he is experiencing intense devotional feelings and weeping.” I have heard this also on some of his cassette recordings.